They say a picture is worth a thousand words. For me, that picture right up there speaks volumes about my October. Have you ever just had a season of blech? It wasn’t that October was a bad month…it really wasn’t. I just felt kind of in limbo.
I set out to simplify my goals and habits. My thinking was along the lines of freeing myself a little from the “constraints” of tracking and planning and such. With a desire to greatly reduce my time online and to not live by a list, I set out with high hopes for a great month. Within the first week, I found myself sick, unmotivated, and a general feeling of aimless wandering and wondering.
With a strange bout of vertigo for nearly the entire month, I just didn’t feel well. After a doctor’s visit followed by an ER visit, the vertigo left as strangely as it arrived. Then, as I looked at my calendar (AGAIN) the last week of the month, I was hit with how little I accomplished.
Oh…I read some, but not nearly as much as usual. (Something about the pages spinning made it a tad difficult.) I crocheted some, but again not as much as I had been. I got my steps in most days of the month. I wasn’t online nearly as much.
Still, I just felt so defeated for much of October. I found myself in a wicked game of comparison on so many levels. And a lot of those comparisons were simply with myself. Silly things. A few more serious things.
- I loved my hair in that picture from a year ago. Why can’t I get my hair the way I want it now?
- That wrinkle wasn’t there a month ago!
- Last month I slayed that cleaning list! What is up with me this month?
- So and so had such a neat family event. I used to go all out. What’s up with no motivation now?
- THM worked for me for several years. So why am I constantly gaining even when still following THM?
- I once felt so close to God. He was the first thought when good things happened and when bad things happened. Prayer came naturally. Why do I feel awkward with it at times now?
I mean to tell you…I WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE!
And now…here I am. A new month. Staring at a blank calendar…a clean slate, so to speak. Today, I’m going to take time to really think about what I want from myself this month, set some goals and mini-habits to work toward, and remember that I am so very blessed!
Until next time…