It’s been more than a month since I sat down to write. I’ve felt like I have nothing to say and too much to say all at the same time. When I sat down at the beginning of December to write about turning 49 and my fiftieth year, I made so many plans…so many little changes in how I would do things and record things…that I ended up paralyzed instead of acting on any of those plans.
Any “over-complicators” out there that can relate? Here’s just a glimpse of a few things I over-complicated…
- Keep up with a datebook/planner…writing in it for every day. I even added extra pages to said planner.
- Keep a gratitude journal of three things I’m grateful for that I write in every evening. AND continue my calendar habit of writing one thing I’m thankful for on a small calendar each day. (BTW, I’ve done the little calendar for ten plus years now.)
- Continue a topical Bible study of the Fruit of the Spirit, pick back up a verse-by-verse study of Luke, AND read through Psalms and Proverbs twice in the coming year.
- Document my year with a photo a day. Then, add to that to document my renewed WW (formerly Weight Watchers) journey with at least a photo a day.
- Meal plan every meal and keep meticulous record of recipes we love or hate.
Okay…I really could fill this whole post with more of those types of things. I started out strong. Then, I ended up paralyzed. That planner, the gratitude journal, my little calendar, became a point of dread and a reminder that I was failing at keeping up with my plans. My Bible studies…I avoided them. Photos…I was taking pictures of things that meant little to nothing to me. I wasn’t even a couple weeks into my fiftieth year, and I was ready to just quit it all. I started asking myself some questions.
Why must I take systems in my life that work and COMPLICATE them?
Why do I need THREE calendars to keep up with everything? (I know. I know. It sounds ridiculous just typing that out.)
How will any of this impact my life and my family’s life for the good?
December and Christmas came and went. I found myself sort of in limbo with it all. Even as January started (btw…with a stomach virus for the second year in a row), I felt out of sync. Once I felt better, I started thinking about what my WORD for the year would be. (This is something I’ve done for several years now. I choose a word as a focal point for my life for the year. I have also chosen a scripture passage to go along with that word some years.)
SO MANY WORDS. SO LITTLE TIME.
Last year’s focus…SIMPLE (simply…simplify…simplicity). Bwahahahaha! I know…ironic that I’m over-complicating things, huh? As I was smacked in the face with that, I realized that needed to continue to be part of my focus this year. Keeping things simple, uncluttered, doable. So, I’m keeping that focus! And it’s okay to keep it! Really it is. Who says you have to change words?
I am adding a word with it, though. ADVENTURE. During that bout of mental paralysis, I realized I let fear or anxiousness get the best of me…often! I want this to be a year when Doug and I go new places and try new things. I want to learn new skills, try new recipes, meet new people. Life is a gift! I want to adventure into it each day with a feeling of excited anticipation of all the things God will show me and teach me.
What I don’t want to do? Spend all my time writing in a gazillion planners and journals. Take pictures of things that have no meaning. Live a life of “canned” gratitude. I want genuine gratitude. I want a record of all this year holds, but it needs to be uncomplicated.
So here I am, just ten days into 2020 and nearly a month and a half into my fiftieth year, shedding the layer of tangled plans that had me stuck for a bit. Oh, I’ll probably have to shed it again (and maybe again and again) over the next twelve months, but that’s okay. As long as I come back to my goal to…
Here’s to 2020…a year to keep things simple as we find our adventures!